Thankfully, all of us also hold enough of the antidote to heal both ourselves and the people in our lives. We can neuter the algorithm by not running it on our hard drives. We can ask questions instead of making assumptions. We can trade arrogance out for humility. We can make room for options like both and neither and somewhere-in-between. We can walk right up to nuance instead of staring at it through rifle scopes.
While Crystal will never jump out of an airplane or off a bungee platform with me, she will jump into messes. Though she may never run off a mountain in a paraglider, she will run to someone’s aide. While I’m chasing adrenaline, she’s chasing social justice. So, the next time you think I’m the brave one of the two of us, think again.
For a lot of guys I meet in church settings, though, sex has been all but taken off the table by their wives—some going months or even years between sexual encounters. That breaks my heart. It also makes me mad that Satan wins. He wants to thwart fulfilling, married sex so that spouses are tempted to look to other (unholy) places to get their needs met. Since God uses marriage as a picture of his relationship with us, evil wants rejected, dejected husbands and distant, unconnected wives.
I don’t know that I felt courageous at any point on that river. Until my ungraceful exit, I just kept focusing on the frothy, incessant rapids. You could make the case that my adventure was cut short. I wouldn’t argue, but I left with both contentedness and determination to one day finish. I told Mark that I got what I came for: a story.
I find that Life gives us a lot of challenges like that. There’s a gratification waiting for those who press past obstacles, detractors, or fear. That doesn’t mean that we should all run to to play with venomous snakes or tight rope walk between skyscrapers. Part of fear’s biological role is to help us measure and evaluate situations before proceeding. But part of that natural response also scares up enough dopamine and adrenaline to reward the courageous.