As of right now, I’m keeping 40% more of my New Year’s resolutions than when I first got serious about my goals a decade ago. That might not sound like a lot, but my friends and family have told me that they can see real change happening in my life. I’ve gotten to this mile marker, in part, by following these five principles.
Don’t set goals beyond your control.
“What the other teams do is something that I can never control, so I just keep focussed on my direction.” Sete Gibernau
There are a lot of accomplishments in life that prove dependent on the notice, effort, or advocacy of others. You can’t determine if your content will go viral online. You can’t guarantee that you’ll win a competition or book a certain numbers of sales—even if you leave everything on the field of play. You can, however, define what that “everything” is and then work toward that.
Find the thing behind the thing.
“People’s behavior makes sense if you think about it in terms of their goals, needs, and motives.” Thomas Mann
Why do you want to lose weight, quit a bad habit, or pay off a loan? What’s the reason you want to publish a book, finish the basement, or find a romantic partner? The answers to those questions can guide your inspiration and reward system. You can use that filter to determine incremental steps that provide proportional payoff. It might also help you diversify your goals or—even better—redefine what success means in that area of your life.
Create goals that benefit someone other than you.
“A day wasted in others is not wasted on one’s self.” Charles Dickens
It’s easier to let yourself off the hook on a resolution, when the only one who loses is you. You have your whole life to work on you. So, there’s no rush. When someone else’s well-being is on the line, though, the incentives for our actions dramatically increase. While you can’t determine another person’s choices, you can influence their thought process and sense of worth. You can commit to write encouragement notes, meet with people in mentoring sessions, or participate in community service projects.
Break life accomplishments down to daily-size habits.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Annie Dillard
Long deadlines for big projects beg you to procrastinate. While many rightly recommend breaking goals into smaller, intermediate steps, that’s only a first step. Great things eventually arise from daily disciplines. So, I left the project steps to my weekly to-do lists; but I built my daily resolutions on the underpinning daily practices that lead to opportunities and accomplishments. I taught myself to value the time working on my soul & body, my legacy & relationships, my craft & commercial value—not just the fruit.
Track those habits, and look for patterns.
“Be yourself, but always your better self.” Karl Maeser
There are all sorts of ways to do this. Over a few years, I developed point values for different accomplishments and their discipline-building steps. At the end of each day, I record how many points I earned that day. At the end of the month, I tabulate my average points per day. At the end of the year, I drop those averages into a spread sheet. That’s admittedly nerdy, but it let’s me see which months or seasons require some extra structure. I can also then compare my year-to-year averages to see if I’m making progress.
Sure, you’ll find drawbacks to quantifying—some might say gamifying—your life. Primarily, it can taint your motives. That said, good deeds and healthy habits lead to a fuller life. They have for me. Compared to the start of this process, I am richer today with intimate friendships, incredible experiences, and invigorating accomplishments.
I’m not famous. I won’t be able to retire before I’m 45 or apply to be an underwear model. But I’m a better version of me. That’s an accomplishment in and of itself. And isn’t that the reason we make resolutions in the first place?
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Stock image purchased from iStockPhoto.com
