Church Abuse is Rooted in Bad Theology

During a recent podcast interview, the host asked me to name some misconceptions about abuse in the church. I listed several, but I left maybe the most important one off the list: that abuse is often a theological issue.

Abuse makes sense in light of what I was taught in churches, Christian schools, religious summer camps, and college courses. Instead of focusing on a winsome Good Shepherd who protects his sheep, I was one of millions of Americans conditioned to overlook verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. Predators and their enablers have indoctrinated potential victims, whistleblowers, and justice seekers with hijacked Bible verses, conditioning congregations for the inexcusable. Because of this, I’ve found the abuse of women and children—sexual or otherwise—has proven to be a feature, not a bug, of the religious institutions of my youth.

One of Jesus’ most damning declarations was aimed at those who harm children, and Jesus protected women during moments of countercultural public proximity to the rabbi. So, you’d think churches would be the safest places for women and minors to build community. But based on who gets charged with sex crimes in America, children are often safer in public schools than in Sunday school. According to one study, “93 percent of convicted sex offenders described themselves as ‘religious.’” 

The men committing these heinous acts find shelter in bastardized selections of Scripture that are taught every weekend in America.

Theology of Female Silence

When women are taught that they must be “silent in the church” or that their voice is not equal to a man’s, of course, they won’t expect their abuse reporting to be believed—let alone acted upon.

Theology of Undeserved Autonomy

When married and unmarried females are told that the Apostle Paul commanded wives to offer their bodies to men whether they want to or not, why would they expect bodily autonomy or respect for consent?

Theology of Weaponized Forgiveness

When abusers (1) pray for forgiveness in front of their victims, (2) tell them Jesus has forgiven them, and then (3) demand secrecy as proof of the victim’s required forgiveness—so the victim can be right with God—you can imagine the conflict of reporting what has happened to them.

Theology of Utter Secrecy

When predators and their enablers remind victims that gossiping is a sin and that reporting abuse is just gossip (now that God has forgiven the perpetrator), no wonder the violated stay silent.

Theology of Caste Privileges

When preachers reinforce that a “man of God” is of a special caste, a sacred calling separate from the Great Commission to which all believers are called, it’s not shocking that assailants convince the sheep to protect the shepherd instead of the other way around.

Theology of Institutional Protection

Pastor predators use Matthew 18 when telling parishioners (1) that what happens in the church should stay in the church and (2) that consequences should be handled in-house. When faith leaders equate protecting institutions to protecting either the Gospel or God’s reputation, it makes sense that the abused are conflicted about seeking justice.

Theology of Covert Confessions

When confession is taught as a practice only between you and your God—instead of as a communal practice by which all believers find healing—it’s not surprising that men struggling with grotesque sins spiral continually downward, wracking up victims.

Theology of Culpable Victims

When you’re taught that women are responsible for the sexual thoughts and actions of men, there’s a natural progression to victim blaming. This is so common, you can watch a pastor saying he’d free an alleged rapist if he saw that the victim was wearing shorts or a pastor saying that rape victims should be in the jail cells next to their rapists. If pastors feel confident proclaiming these horrific positions from the pulpit, imagine what they’re willing to say while privately gaslighting their victims.

Theology of Providential Abuse

Some churches have taught that sexual abuse is a way to become “mighty in spirit.” Even if you aren’t a Calvinist, this line of thinking can lead you to believe that God destined abuse for you. What sick father would wish that on his kids?

When churches put several or all of these flawed beliefs together, their parishioners get a culture of shame, manipulation, and other abuse.

I’m grateful to serve at a church that repudiates these false beliefs. Since leaving the faith system that weaponized Scripture in these ways, I’ve found that theology should never come at the expense of someone’s safety. Jesus said he came to bring abundant life. So, anything that brings death to relationships, to personhood, or to the concept of a Good Shepherd doesn’t align with the orthodoxy of Jesus’ words and example. I really like how humanitarian (and prison ministry facilitator) Bob Goff summarizes this idea: “The best theology is loving people like Jesus did.”

Until radical, sacrificial love becomes the standard in America’s churches, I will continue not to be surprised by the headlines its pastors keep generating. And until the church treats malignant theology as a dangerous weapon, abuse will thrive at the expense of the souls at whom it’s pointed.

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