I did a double take when I saw this ad in my Facebook stream.
This wasn’t for a church, a parachurch organization, or a conference. No, this was for entrepreneurs and marketers. Their pitch is to help businesses create a social media app for just the people who like their brand.
“Where communities thrive” should be the tagline for a church, though. The problem is that most American churches aren’t thriving. They’re definitely not growing. In 2018, LifeWay Research found that 61% of churches in the States were shrinking, and the growth of the other 39% was more from transplants than new believers.1 The Giving USA Foundation reported that while charitable giving rose in America last year, reported giving to churches shrank more than $2 billion from 2017 to 2018.2
That’s not Jesus’ fault. He came to bring the world life to the fullest.
So, where’d that life go?
It migrated to China, India, and parts of the African continent. We chased it from our assemblies with our lack of authenticity and holistic transformation. We sacrificed it on the altar of politics, as religious leaders bowed down to crass and corrupt idols. We said we were pro-life but not when it came to the lives of immigrants, refugees, and convicts. Not only was the church late to support and protect #metoo victims, we were led by its perpetrators and their apologists. We let celebrity shine on fallible pastors instead of on the Source of all truth. We let conmen represent us on TV, asking people on Social Security checks to help them buy a new private jet.
We lost the heart of the gospel, and out of the heart flows all matters of life.
For decades, as multi-level marketing metastasized in our family and friend circles, the church adopted their tactics. We pursued converts instead of mentees, “downlines” instead of disciples.
In online retail terms, we chased clicks and likes instead of purchases. In my line of work, I see small businesses do this all the time in their marketing, too. They chase popularity instead of transactions, buzz instead of business. Thankfully, that’s a reversible situation; the same holds true for discipleship in the church. And that’s why I write this post with hope.
That said, there is no program for authenticity. There is no app for contagious life. Discipleship will happen far more thoroughly offline than on social media. Jesus designed it that way because the effort and process is where he often reveals himself to both sides of the discipleship process. So while there are no microwave solutions, I have found several keys to productive discipleship.
Sit next to the struggling.
For sure, we can all use some healthy perspective—and even coaching—during seasons of success. And ministry would be much more fun if we were just hanging out at Dave & Busters or the beach together. But we grow the most during challenges. We discover our true friends most during pain. We’re open to Sovereign intervention most when our limitations are surpassed. If nobody in your spiritual community is hurting or confused or confronted by brokenness, you need to infuse your circle with someone who is.
Then, you need to sit with them, let them ramble, and condone their tears. There may be times to ask questions like, “What do your conversations with God about that look like right now?” There might be times when you contribute physically or financially to their situation. There will definitely be moments when you need to send a text, a card, or a phone call their way. Do so only when the Holy Spirit prompts but immediately after he prompts.
Suffer well, and display your dependence.
When it’s your turn to need prayer, to reveal failure, or to wonder what God’s up to—do. Don’t hide it behind bravado or clichés. Don’t minimize the situation. Let others practice what you’ve modeled for them. Give your community permission to be authentic with your own vulnerability. Demonstrate—through tears if you must—what it looks like to pray “not my will but yours be done.” God said he wanted to replace our stone hearts with flesh ones. As we invite that transformation, you will find others attracted to this journey and inspired to “follow me as I follow Christ.”
Say, “I don’t know.”
Most of the heresy, hypocrisy, and legalism people encounter in spiritual environments arises from what’s between the lines. We all struggle with the nuance that lives between landmark absolute truths. Frankly, Jesus doesn’t seem to make sense sometimes. Our finite humanness can’t explain the ways he warned would only make make sense from his higher perspective. That’s not a cosmic copout. That doesn’t mean we forego reason. It just means that a God big enough to be sovereign and omnipotent is probably a deity beyond our definition.
So, acknowledge thosee enigmas with “That’s a good question.” Get used to saying, “I can’t answer that,” “I’m not sure there’s an answer for that this side of heaven,” and “That is above my pay grade.” Develop connections with people who might be able to answer tougher technological queries. Listen to or read books on the topic, and create a list of resources you can recommend. But don’t make stuff up. Comfort your community with the fact that we’re all explorers together.
Point people back to what Jesus said.
There’s plenty Jesus gave for us that isn’t mushy or muddled. Sadly, those mandates are typically hard. His invitations come with stout price tags. Stating these truths requires us to be striving toward living them out ourselves. We need to speak Scripture over situations. We need to remind each other what the goal is, what the standard looks like. We can’t let each other off the hook. We can’t excuse things because of personality traits, Enneagram numbers, or cultural norms.
We can’t call it as we see it. We must call it as Jesus said it. At critical crossroads, we must ask, “What does God say about this?” That way, the disciples we’re leading are following him—not us.
Democratize ownership.
Jesus called us to replication, not hierarchy. As Mike Donehey of Tenth Avenue North says, “He didn’t ask Peter to lead his sheep. He asked Peter to feed his sheep.” For a time that will require a bottle, but creating independent sheep will mostly mean sitting with them in fields—eating together. Rookies and veterans can learn how to pray from each other. Newbies and old hats can discover profound truths in Scripture the other misses. The kingdom wins, when everyone feels like a contributor, when we don’t resort to spiritual haves and have nots.
Growing in our faith is a symbiotic process, an experiential education. We all mature when we lean authentically on each other and lean together into both the truth and the mystery of Scripture. When we do all of that, we create a community that people from all walks of life will crave and something no app could ever duplicate.
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1 “The Church Growth Gap: The Big Get Bigger While the Small Get Smaller,” by Aaron Earls. Christianity Today, March 6, 2019.
2 “Religious Donations Declined by $2 Billion Last Year,” by Relevant. June 24, 2019.
