Marrying Someone Else

Last Saturday, I had the privilege to officiate a wedding for Bo & Brooke, two of my team mates on our church’s parking team. It’s a long story as to how both of them got to this moment and how I came to play my part, but the wedding is a short story. They asked me to talk about Jesus, the new guiding force in their lives. They told me to add some jokes and keep it short.
Then, they asked me to write their respective vows as well as the meaning of the charms on the bracelet they would be presenting to Grace, their daughter.
The tremendous weight of this moment and those promises weighed heavy on me, and I procrastinated writing my script until the very last Saturday prior to the wedding. I prayed about my words. I’m hoping what came to me was from a sovereign source. Maybe that’s why Brooke’s response to my words you are about to read was, “Absolutely in tears perfect!!”
I ad-libbed from what you see below. For those who wished that they could’ve attended, though, here are the words you missed.
Brooke walks down aisle with Grace

Grace takes Brooke’s bouquet.
Brooke kisses Grace.
Bo kisses Grace.
Grace takes seat on the front row. 
Probably the biggest analogy threading through the Bible is marriage—more specifically that Jesus is the groom and that those who follow him are his pending bride. At one point, the Apostle Paul explains the point for the analogy and tells husbands to sacrifice their lives to love their wives like Jesus loved us. He tells wives to respect their husbands like how we try to respect Jesus—to trust his heart and direction.
Pastors like to talk about Jesus’ first published miracle happening at a wedding, but I’m not a pastor. I just play one on TV. And pastors like to mention that God attended the first wedding in the Garden of Eden. But I read that story last week, and Jesus didn’t make Eve repeat any vows or have Adam get a ring for his bride. He just brought Eve to Adam. You can read it yourself in Genesis 2. God didn’t give them any marriage advice; he certainly didn’t give them a last name. There was no party, no dancing, no happy tears, no rice in anybody’s hair, no dinner at Wasabi’s Steakhouse. Just two people standing naked next to where Adam had been sleeping.
Moses wrote, “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall be one flesh.” That was intended for us—because Adam and Eve didn’t have parents.
God just brought Adam the woman he had destined for him and let Adam explain the simple rules God had for the garden.  We find out later that God met them every morning to talk about life.
That’s what’s happening in front of you right now. From all I’ve heard from Bo and Brooke, God brought them to each other. And now, they chat with him every day to figure out how to do life—both individually and together. And that’s what they’re going to do tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.
Marriage is important to God, and he wants Bo and Brooke to last in harmony more than they do.  He loves Bo more than Brooke ever will, and he loves Brooke more than Bo ever could.  So, even though he didn’t lay out a specific, ceremonial way for a marriage to start, it’s safe to say he’s pretty invested in this relationship. He would like to see the marriage phase of their love to start with acknowledgement of his presence & power, pleasure & purpose.
A lot of times at weddings, we hear that rings represent a love that has no beginning and no end. But if you’ve ever had a ring resized, you know that a ring does have an origin and can be cut for adjustment. And since we can’t take marriage into eternity, the rings that Bo and Brooke can’t symbolize infinity.
They are, though, a life-long token of reminder of the vows they are about to make—both to each other and to God. The rings go on their hands, so that at all times in whatever they are doing, this physical symbol of their commitment is in view. The rings surround their fingers to symbolize how God’s love and the love of their spouse surrounds them. The rings are shiny to attract attention from any observer and proclaim without a word that Brooke and Bo’s hearts are not available—having already been given to someone else. Finally, the rings are free gifts to remind both Bo and Brooke that their spouse is a gift—a valuable treasure they didn’t earn, a blessing that God provided for them.
At this time, Bo and Brooke will publicly present their rings to each other.
Bo, place your ring on Brooke’s finger, and repeat after me:
I, Bo, take you, Brooke,
to be the wife God destined for me to love.
I promise to support you the best way I know how.
I will move toward Jesus
and bring you with me.
I will not stop learning how to communicate love to you.
No matter where life takes us,
it will take both of us.
I will prove my faithfulness to you
every day
until I have no more days.
Brooke, place your ring on Bo’s finger, and repeat after me:
I, Brooke, take you, Bo,
to be the husband God saved for me.
I promise to support you the best way I know how.
As I fall more in love with Jesus,
I will share his love with you.
I will not stop learning how to communicate respect to you.
No matter what life brings us,
we will face it as a team.
I will prove my faithfulness to you
every day
until I have no more days.
I’ve got a question for each of you.
Brooke, since Bo got to go first on the rings, you get to go first now.
Do you, Brooke, in front of God and these witnesses, take Bo to be your husband—to communicate respect, to comfort his heart, to encourage his dreams, to forgive his shortcomings, to be his biggest fan, lover, and best friend—for as long as you both shall live?
Do you, Bo, in front of God and these witnesses, take Brooke to be your wife—to communicate love, to celebrate her femininity, to make her feel relationally and physically secure, to forgive her mistakes, and to point her to Jesus—for as long as you both shall live?
[They both said, “I do.”] At this time, Daniel Gunter and Shalisse Anderson are going to anoint the bride and groom, respectively, with prayer.
[Impromptu prayers with hands on respective recipients] With the blessing of heaven, I can now say,
“Bo, you may kiss your bride.”
Bo kisses Brooke.
Grace comes to front.
Brooke and Bo place charm bracelet on Grace.
At this time, Bo and Brooke would like to give their daughter, Grace, a token of their love. It is a charm bracelet with three charms.
The first charm is in the shape of the word love.
Grace, you need to know that—no matter what—your dad and Brooke love you. Never be afraid to tell them when you’re scared, when you’ve done something wrong, or when you have a question. They might not always be able to buy the things you want or take you to the places you want to go, but their heart wants what’s best for you.
The second charm is in the shape of a cross.
Grace, you need to know that Jesus loves you somehow even more than your parents do. He gave his life for you, and he has big hopes and plans for you.  Your parents are going to make mistakes, and you will, too. But the Bible says that love covers a bunch of sins, and that love comes from Jesus.
The third charm is in the shape of a heart.
Grace, you won’t realize this for a long time, but a lot of people and things will want a piece of your heart. You need to know that Jesus and your parents want to protect your heart. They want you to live a long and happy life.  At times, they will make decisions that seem unfair or unloving, but you must trust their heart for you.  They’ve seen that the world can be a mean place, and they want to keep you from the hurts they’ve experienced.
Ryan prays over family.
So, why are we here? Couldn’t Bo and Brooke just make some promises to each other and call it a life? Other than God, there weren’t any witnesses when Adam and Eve started their life together. From a legal standpoint, as long as an Elvis impersonator or I am here, this thing counts.
You might be here because it’d be socially awkward later if you didn’t come to this wedding.  You might be here because you love romance.  Maybe you just wanted to do something outside that didn’t require sweating or yard work.
The Bible tells us to weep with those who weep and celebrate with those who are celebrating.  Whether you’re family by blood or by spirit, we are here to celebrate two things: the redemptive power of Jesus and the way his love wrapped around Bo and Brooke.
We’re also here as a statement of support—don’t worry: you won’t have to sign anything to prove it. Going forward, its your job and my job to help Bo and Brooke stay happily married. While you might have a lot of experience or a lot of advice, what they are going to need from us is (1) to pray for them, when God lays them on our hearts and (2) to continually point them to Jesus and the words he left for us.  He said things like, “Forgive one another” and “Don’t go to bed angry” and “Love never fails.” So, keep reading your Bible, just so you will be ready to remind Brooke and Bo of that wisdom.
With all that said, I have another reason for being here, because it’s someone’s job to say,
“I now present to you for the first time as husband and wife, Bo and Brooke Terry!”